Stuck in a Rut

Do you feel stuck? Bouncing between jobs, partners, or homes in search of the perfect one? Or, are you not moving at all because you don’t know where there is left to go?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt stuck. I always felt like there was something else out there, always searching for that perfect something, though I could never quite put my finger on it. Maybe that’s why I’ve dated so many guys, switched jobs often, and moved so many times. I was always looking for the next big thing and never quite following my heart.

Children are the ones who’ve got it right. They know what they want. Ask’em what they want to be when they grow up; they answer from their soul and with their heart. They know exactly what it’s all about.

Even teenagers know a thing or two about following their heart. Ask them what their goals are for the future, they can lay it out for you–their goals, their steps for success, their plan of action, their dreams.

Somewhere between the teenage years and the adult years, a switch flips. People stop trusting their gut and start doing what everyone else thinks they should be doing. They let other people’s opinions shape their own outlook on life. They lose sight of their own desires and put other people first.

Now, let me be clear. There’s nothing wrong with putting others first. In fact, I think there’s a healthy limit to the amount of putting others first. You should definitely put your kids first, and family too. Friends should fall in this category also, but if they are real friends, then they ought to respect you enough as a person to understand why you can’t.

Ultimately, though, you come to a point where you have to put your foot down and think–what do I want to do? What is best for me? What are my dreams and goals? Sure, putting others first will make you feel good for a little while, but how can you expect to continue helping others if you can’t even help yourself?

Part of finding yourself and your place in this world is figuring out what talents God (or Allah, or Shiva, or Yahweh, or Momma and Daddy) has given you to share. How can you possibly make a difference or make your mark when you are following other peoples expectations of you? You aren’t doing what you truly want to do, so you can’t possibly be putting your whole heart into something if you don’t really want to be doing it in the first place.

And so I challenge you. Think back to your youth. Think about what it is you have always wanted, make a plan of action, and stick to your guns. I’m certain you will find that you are a much happier person because of it.

I know I am.

Categories: Musings | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Stuck in a Rut

  1. Real great info can be found on this blog.

  2. Great post. I’ve learned a LOT of life lessons this year & you touched on quite a few: saying no, going with your gut, understanding the difference between real friends & not so much…. I have also learned as I’ve gotten older that goin’ with your gut isn’t always easy, doesn’t always seem like the “right” choice once you do it, and can quite frankly be a little scary (mainly b/c of the doubts put in our heads by the people that think they know what is best for). All I can say is you gotta do it. Sometimes you gotta work up to it, but you gotta do it. Maybe I’ll see you this evening?

    • Yes–talk about scary. Most people don’t and have never known about my dream of publishing a bestseller, including a few family members. Many don’t even know I write! But, I guess I finally came to a point in my life where–to hell with everyone else–I’m going to follow my dream. If I fall flat on my ass (as I have with attempts at other things), so what, at least I can never say I didn’t try. And you know what, I’ll dust myself off and try, try again, because if you want something bad enough, that’s what you do.

      Thanks for reading and commenting! And, yes, I hope to see you tonight! 🙂

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